As the Skillet Burns…

[Aspen/Elyna]

[title page]

You have violated the private thoughts of an overworked, underpaid, and rarely appreciated Diner worker. This journal contains tidbits of her boring life. Continue reading at your own risk. Owner is not libel for any accidents, bumps, or bruises sustained by nodding off and falling out of your chair.

Elyna

Contains entries from March 12, 2006 through _______

[Aspen/Elyna]

Sunday, 03/12/2006:

First entry of my new journal. Maybe this one will have something more exiting in it than the last.

As usual, nothing went the way I planned today. It was to be my usual Sunday off, but Tanner called in sick again. I’m not sure if that girl doesn’t like to work, doesn’t need to work, or is just that sick. That’s two Sunday’s now she’s called and yours truly had to cover for her.

Work wasn’t difficult. It was slow day, translation…not many tips. I did have an odd duck come in near the end of my shift. We have that cabbage soup every day, but usually only a few of the regulars order it. Today this guy asked for it, and he actually ATE it! All of it! How he got passed the smell is beyond me. I feel for his wife or girlfriend though. I’m sure the apartment smelled quite ripe toward the end of the night. For both their sakes I hope he didn’t have to light the pilot light on the furnace.

I overheard him talking to his female companion about work. I didn’t intentionally eavesdrop. One of those things you hear when you are walking up kind of things. He’s a fireman. This makes my second ever customer that confirmed he was a fireman. I bought him a slice of pound cake. He seemed a bit down and I wanted to do something to cheer him up. Not good to have someone like him feeling depressed when so many lives depend on him. Since he risks so much in his every day duties, I figured a slice of cake was the least I could do.

I was to baby-sit the Anderson’s boy this evening. Would have been an easy $50, too. He’s such a good little baby. He got sick and they canceled their plans. They called me not long ago and ask to reschedule, so it looks like my evening is planned for next Sunday. Yay! I may be able to get that new dress yet.

As usual I’m heading to bed. Maybe I can get lucky in my dreams and Prince Charming will be there. Probably not though. With my luck it’s bound to be that IRS guy again

[Aspen/Elyna]

Wednesday, 11/15/2006:

Well, until recently my life had been dull once more. But I think I've had enough excitement to last me more than the rest of my life. You know that phrase, "It can never happen to me..."? Well guess what? It can...and it did…twice I think.

Let us start with last week and the lizard man. I was walking along minding my own business when something landed in front of me. Fell from the sky, well, roof actually. Naturally I looked up. What I saw I could never have conjured in my worst nightmares. It was a man-dinosaur looking down at me. If that wasn’t freaky enough, he dove after me! I was so terrified I couldn’t move. I couldn’t remember a time before that when I was more scared. He grabbed me. You know, like they do in those cheesy B movies by the shoulders. Let me tell you, I was so scared I couldn’t even manage a scream. Lucky for me I was saved.

I never got the man’s name, but I remember him when those robot things walked the streets. He was the one that came through the window and was bleeding all over the clean booths. Poor man, I never even thanked him. Just threw up all over the sidewalk. Then, he disappeared.

Close call I know. What that reptile had in mind I’ll never know. Of course it could have been a female lizard who had a flat chest and was taking me back to her nest as food for her young, but that is something I’m trying hard to block.

Saturday I was again on my way home when I was successfully kidnapped. I tried to fight, honest, but what can you do against a guy that can dismantle a gun with a wave of his hand and make a metal Elyna-burrito out of a trash can on a whim? Not much. He was an odd duck. The other guy [lizard man] radiated “I want to suck on your bones.” attitude, but this other guy. He was just nuts.

I was placed in a metal box with little lighting. I was told it was it was rigged to explode under certain conditions and fed three times a day. Except for the fact I was always cold, alone, blood samples were taking, and I hardly had any light…oh hell, it was torture plain and simple. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t dance, I couldn’t see the sun. I even began to talk to myself. More than normal that is. I spent most of my time worrying and crying. How anyone can take that day upon day upon day is beyond me. I’m surprised I lasted as long as I did. Each time the door opened I expect it to be the end. I wasn’t ready to die, but each time the door would eventually close again, and I was still there; still there to worry and wonder if the next time would be it.

Last night that man showed up again. I hadn’t seen him since the night he took me. He came right into the room and told me he was letting me go. Just like that. I couldn’t believe it. It had to be a joke, right? Every TV show, and movie I’ve seen the guy always kills them in the end, or at least tries to. This guy…he actually left me on the roof of a hospital. And the things he said, while he wasn’t…intentionally cruel, he still scared me. He was calm and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. That was what was so frightening to me. Until the moment he disappeared into the night and I was safely on that hospital floor with other people around me, I wasn’t sure it was the end. Not really. I kept expecting to wake up and still be there.

I spent most of last night at the hospital being examined. Two doctors saw me and there was this one nurse who stayed with me the whole time and just held my hand. She was the one that smuggled a cell phone into the room before the police got there so I could call my mom. She even sat in the examining room with me while I was being interviewed by the two policemen. She had even stayed after her shift ended. That was a compassionate person and I am grateful for her. I don’t think I could have held it together long enough to make it through had she not been there. I hope there’s a special place reserved for her in heaven, because she certainly deserves it in my book.

[Aspen/Elyna]

Saturday, 12/02/2006

Its morning already and I’m glad of it. I’m beginning to really hate the dark. Too many bad things happen when the sun isn’t up. Last night was one of them although, after I saw that telecast, I don’t suppose any day or night will be pleasant unless the powers that be do something to stop it. When I came home last night, I felt…dirty. I took a hot shower and scrubbed, but it didn’t seem to wash the feeling away.

The nightmare came again, just like it does every night. The shadow man comes and taunts me from the dark. Terrorizing me until I don’t think I can breath, the weight of fear hammering upon my chest. Then the lizard comes. Those eyes that glow and burn in the night. They peer right through me. I can’t move, but I can hear the shadow man cheering him on. Encouraging him to take me alive but let me scream. I woke up screaming at the same place I always do. Right when the lizard lunges for me.

That voice. It has a name now. Karl. He came into the diner last night with some others. I was so petrified when I heard him speak. I’m sure I would have lost all control of my bodily functions had I just not when to the ladies’ room. I called him a monster for helping that man do what he did to me. He didn’t deny it. What horrors that man must have done.

I’ve lain awake at night wondering why I was let go. Why I got so lucky. Of course I know now that I wasn’t so lucky. I was his puppet taking his genetic pet out into the world to infect others. I was dead the minute he took me. It is just a matter of time before my body catches up to that fact.

I saw a replay of Magneto’s statement again on the TV before I went to bed last night. I didn’t both listen to all the so called experts debate the piece afterwards though. I just wanted to get a look at the man again. Hitler. That’s what I see him as. He’s wiping out millions with one swoop. How I loathe him. How I fear him.

The red-head said something to me before she left last night. She told me to tell anyone who messes with me that I was under the protection of the Phoenix. That’s a nice name. A mythical bird of fire that was reborn. Hope perhaps? Maybe. I would say she was one of the good mutants. I wonder…are there more of them like her out there? And if so, do they out number the bad mutants? Or more specifically…do they out power the bad one?

[Aspen/Elyna]

Saturday evening, 12/02/2006


It’s almost nightfall. I didn’t go into work today. I called in sick. What a laugh. Sick. Of course my boss didn’t accept that excuse, practically threatened me with firing if I didn’t come in. What difference does it make anyway? I’ll be dead soon.

Funny isn’t it? I’m young, and up until a few weeks ago, perfectly healthy. Now I have a virus that will turn deadly at the whim of a mad man. I had so much I wanted to do in life. So many places I wanted to go. I wanted to fall in love, deep in love, just once. I wanted to feel like I belonged to someone and that they belonged to me. I always thought I had plenty of time for that too. Maybe someday get married, have baby. Here in NYC, or Savannah I didn’t care. I know mom would have preferred I went back home.

I talked to her today. Several time actually. She’s in tears. At first she begged me to come home. It took me a while, but I finally got her to understand that even though I wanted to be there, that I just couldn’t chance it. I don’t want to die wondering if I caused the death of the people I care most about.

It’s alright really. I’m resigned to my fate…most of the time. I still get bouts where I panic and want to run home to the comfort I would find there, but it isn’t long before take back control.

During our last call, I tried to cheer her up. I reminded her that the government employees all those geniuses and they would find a way to fix this. Uncle Sam wouldn’t let us down. He’d loose too much tax money if he did. We laughed and hung up, but now I wonder…. Who was I lying to?

[Aspen/Elyna]

Tuesday morning, 02/06/07

I noticed there are some things not recorded in here that I wish I had. Like the night that tall, dark, and mysterious stranger saved me from those three punks. Of course, then I’d have to mention I went loco and swore I saw a cartoon character on the street after he left. Its times like that I wonder if I’ve actually snapped and don’t know it. I’ve heard tell that I’d be the last to know.

One night I actually met the infamous Ben Grimm. Can you believe it? He’s actually sat and talked with me since then. Oh, I saw Johnny Storm once too, but I wasn’t all that impressed. I thought he was taller than he is and the magazines talk about how cute he is, but all I saw was the swagger of a man who thinks he’s God’s gift or something; a real turnoff for me.

I’ll have to do better about recording some of the good things instead of all this bad.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing today…I’m unemployed; at least for a few weeks anyway. Last night I feeling restless and just couldn’t stay in this closet-turned-apartment any longer, so I did what I usually do, took a book and went down to the diner for hot chocolate and a slice of pie. This bald, pale mutant named Gideon was there, or at least I think he is a mutant. I’m beginning to have a suspicion that isn’t the case with his occasional slips of “your people” and “you humans”. Most mutants I’ve actually talked to still think in terms of mutants and humans being the same. Well, except ‘Hitler’ that is.

Be that as it may, we were talking when something came through the window. Gideon must have seen it, because he turned toward the window beforehand. I started to look to see what had it attention, but it just seemed the world exploded around me. I went under the table. In my mind all I could think about was the ‘duck and cover’ films the government sent out to schools back in the day. I can remember thinking later what an odd thought, but there it was none the less.

Someone had thrown a truck through the window, or at least tried to. I’d hate to know bad it could have gotten. I don’t have any proof since I wasn’t looking, but I believe in my heart that my pale friend did something to keep it from being as bad as it was suppose to be. I’m still surprised I didn’t become a basket case. I’m sure it was just shock. It had to have been. Gideon asked me to help the others, and I tried.

I still remember the metal monstrosity that came to help. I’ll admit, at first I wasn’t sure what his intentions were, but apparently he was close by and decided to help. When Gideon did something else before the emergency people arrived. I’m not entirely sure what it was, but I’ve never seen anything like that or been through it before. I didn’t have the first scratch on me when he was through and neither did anyone else for that matter. I didn’t get a chance to thank him, or to see if he was ok. We were pushed from the scene so quickly. I hope I get to see him again and get that chance.

I’m going to head over to the coffee shop. I’ve been trying to get a hold of that new owner, but I was told he was down there supervising the cleanup. I know I’m not the only one; I’ve already gotten calls from a couple of the other waitresses and several cooks. We’re all heading down there now to see what his plans are.

[Aspen/Elyna]

Wednesday afternoon, 02/07/2007

Well, it is official, I’m unemployed. The new owners decided to do something different and felt some trimming of the staff was in order. Oddly enough the ones he “let go” were the only ones who stuck around after the previous owners sold. In a way, I’m disappointed because I grew to love working there, but since the change, I’ve found nothing but misery. The only bright spot was when I could work nights away from the ‘management’. I’m sure I’ll find something, but with the way things are, it might be a little bit. I did apply for unemployment yesterday morning and made an appointment to go back this morning to see what might be available.

Last night I decided to take a walk. It was cold and snowing, and I just wanted to get out. I should have called a cab, but I wanted to save on money, besides, I felt the exercise would do me some good. I met him again; the gentleman in the cloak. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again, but I was wrong. He offered to walk me home and of course I let him. If I had been thinking properly, I would have told him the long way home just to extend it, but I was flustered; bits of those dreams kept trying to creep back into my thoughts. I love his accent. I could listen to it for hours. Heck, he could even talk sports and I’d be captivated! Oh well, that’s probably our last meeting anyway. I can tuck it away and remember it on those lonely rainy days, probably even in a few snowbound days as well.

I got a strange phone call last night. It was an insurance man calling to get in touch with me about a settlement owed. I checked the phone book, it was a legitimate number. When I called, the man was quite polite, but also insistent that I come to handle it immediately. Once in his office, he answered all my questions and reassured me several times there wasn’t any mistake. It probably seemed silly to a man like him, but that’s a lot of money to someone like me. The thought of getting it and then loosing it was scary.

So now the money is safely tucked away in the bank. I’m not too sure what I should do with it. I called and talked to my mother. To someone else, it might seem silly, but for me it’s a natural thing. She’s always been a supportive influence in my lift. My sounding board if you will. Between the two of us, I think I have a good plan in mind. I was a bit reluctant about it, but she insisted I get a good dependable car so I don’t walk around anymore. She wants me to get a big hulking SUV. For her, that’s a compromise. I’m sure she would feel better if it was a tank. I kid, but it feels good to have her fuss over me so, just so long as it’s over the phone. I’ve grown to really love my independence.

A car, some money in an account that’s easily reachable for emergencies, a tiny fraction to splurge on some new cloths, and the rest will be invested in some way for retirement. I’m sure there are some that say spend it, but I feel better knowing I won’t have to worry as much about my later years. Oh, I’ve tried to put some back, but have only managed a meager few thousand. This if used wisely could alleviate all my worries there. I think it is a good plan. In fact, I’m proud of it. Now if I can only find a job I like…

[Aspen/Elyna]

Tuesday night, 02/04/2009

I open the diner the day after tomorrow. I'm excited. Extremely excited. It's finally going to happen after all this time. We've planned and saved and planned and saved for over three years now. I didn't think it would happen. Oh I hoped it would, but it seems something was always happening and it would get put off more and more. Then along came the demons and angels. I almost gave up. Glad I didn't.

I saw Gideon last night again. I'm so glad he's back. But then, should it be called that? He said he never really left. I want to ask where he goes, what he does during these times when he disappears, but at the same time, I don't think I have the right to. I'm not even sure if it would matter all that much if I did know. He's around once more, and that's enough for me. I enjoy his company. I hope he can say the same. He seems to anyway. I offered him a place to stay. It's always been there, but I felt the need to let him know it was still there if he wanted to use it.

A part of me wonders if I should be worried if he decides to take my offer. The last time he stayed with me there was that incident and a man died. But then, in all fairness that wasn't the Gideon I remembered. He was more...agitated. No, that isn't the right word for it. He said he was sick. What do you do for a sick alien? I was scared for him. Maybe I should have been scared of him after seeing what he did to that man, but I wasn't. Even though he wasn't the same as before, I don't think he would have hurt me. Scared the dickens out of me with that flying thing, but not hurt me. Even after all of that I still felt and still feel safe when he's around.

This time he seems like more like the Gideon I first met so long ago. I have a hard time reminding myself that he can be lethal when he's like this. Oh, there are moments when I remember, but for the most part he's Gideon. I probably should have my head examined. Of course one mention that my best friend's an alien and I'd probably be carted off to a nice padded room and given my very own, stylish, designer straight jacket courtesy of the state or feds.

I agreed to let him fly me back to the apartment this evening. It wasn't that bad, but then, it was Gideon and not some nut-job. The poor dear probably expected me to scream again and faint. I didn't. I was prepared for it...sort of. It was a choice. Last time I didn't expect it and was already on edge about what was happening. Ok, I lied...it was better than 'not that bad'. I liked it. I made myself open my eyes before we got to our destination. He kept low, so I didn't have any dizzying heights. I'm not sure if I would do so well, but I think I may want to try. Maybe...

[Aspen/Elyna]

Wednesday night 02/05/2009

I'm writing this while waiting for Gideon. If he's not here by the time I finish this, I'll just go on to bed. He knows how to let himself in.

He's up on the roof looking for his pet mouse. It's one of the white ones. I'm not sure where he found it, but its welcome too. I left a small box with holes in it for the mouse and his pillow and blankets on the couch. He's going to stay with me a while. I'm glad. While he was away I missed having someone around to talk to, or maybe it was just him; don't know and I'm not going to dwell on it. I'll stop by the pet store on my lunch break and buy him some things for his mouse...mice. Apparently there's more than one. I'm not sure how many yet, so I better plan for several.

This evening I did a really stupid thing. I saw a patrol car at the end of the street, not too far from the diner. I went to see what was wrong. There was a patrolman trapped between the car and trash bin. I tried to call for help and apparently I managed to get through before I was attacked. I still don't know who/what it was. All I know is my cell phone came to pieces. I got scared and ran. Something knocked me down to the sidewalk and held me there. I don't know what he/she/it had in mind originally. After seeing the body I don't want to know.

I got knocked out. When I came to, there was a man there. I don't think it was the same one. He certainly didn't act like a man who would kill and mutilate a woman. He asked for my help and freed the trapped patrolman. He hung around until the police were near before he left. He must be local because he knew I was opening a diner. I hope he was one of the good guys. If not, I really messed up by stalling for him, giving him time to get out of the area before I told the police about him.

[Aspen/Elyna]

Thursday afternoon, 02/05/2009

Well, Peggy won the opportunity to open this morning. We played 'Rock-Paper-Scissor' for it. It wasn't all bad, I got to sleep in late and since I like to stay up later than she does, its all good. I gave her a three hour break around lunch so she could run home for a bit and recharge.

We did have one snag today. One of the cooks didn't show. At first I didn't know what we would do. I called a few of the ones not scheduled and Kaiden agreed to come in and finish the shift. Great guy. He knows more about the kitchen than he lead me to believe in the interview, but that can be nothing but good, right?

I stopped by the pet store after serving my time. I got Gideon a large cage that should hold up to ten mice I'm told. I got some things the guy at the pet store said was essential; food, bedding, water dish, food dish, vitamin drops, that wheel thing. I set it up on the coffee table since that was the only spot with enough room that wasn't the table. Maybe he'll like it...and if I'm lucky so will the 'squeaks'.

[Aspen/Elyna]

Friday afternoon, 02/06/2009

Three dead mice.

Gideon left.

[Aspen/Elyna]

Saturday night, 02/07/2009

I saw Gideon today. Didn't expect to. I had decided to brave a walk in the park while it was daylight and there were more people around. I was about to leave when he tapped me on the shoulder. We talked and we both apologized. Did it fix things, I don't think so. It was a step, however. We'll see what happens next. Regardless to how things may or may not progress, he's my friend first and foremost, I want to be able to be there for him if he needs me. I hope I'm up to the task.

The diner. Had a little incident before I got off. One of the waitresses almost slugged a customer. I didn't find out from her because she left for lunch and never came back. After getting the other waitress alone, I found out that I couldn't blame her. Been there a time or two myself, but usually with drunks. I would have handled it differently, but then, I've had more experience dealing with it...or at least I hope that was her excuse. After much debate, I override Peggy. I'll give her one more chance.

[Aspen/Elyna]

March 30, 2012

I thought I tossed this thing, but apparently I tucked it away in one of my many duffle bags. Kevin found it when he went to get me some clothes from my apartment. Reading over the past entries makes me feel as if I’ve lived a whole different life up until now and I suppose in a way that’s true.

There isn’t much to tell about the years missing. I worked and slept mostly. Nothing extremely exciting happened. Today the diner is a solid fixture. We have a steady crowd and quite a few regulars. Peggy and I worked hard to get it to this place. We’ve had to hire an additional shift manager since Peggy has been out for almost a year now trying to help her husband recover; first from his accident and now from a serious stroke. I really feel for her. I know how much they are both hurting because of this.

I suppose I should explain a few things to you, Diary. For the unforeseeable future I have abandoned my cozy apartment and I’m staying with Kevin and Shane. Kevin has been a good and honest friend for more years that I’d like to acknowledge some days and without his help now, I’m not sure how sane I’d be.

Let me back it up a bit shall I?

February 17th. Why is that day important you may wonder? Because that’s the day I met him. Now my mother would say I meet people all the time, so what makes this meeting any different? Maybe because I was out dancing for the first time in about a year or maybe it was because I was at a place in my life where I was satisfied every aspect of my life and God decided to toss in a new wrinkle? Or maybe, it was none of those reasons but something completely different, I just don’t know. Kevin and Shane took me to a club to ‘unwind’ as they liked to term it. I will admit it was a great rush. I had forgotten how much I loved just letting go to the music when there isn’t judging to be done. Those three times a year at contests with Kevin just didn’t give me the same release.

Any way, back to the subject at hand…him. He was at the bar when I went to get a refill. He spoke, I responded back. He was cute, what can I say. It didn’t dent my ego a bit to have some random guy actually try to start a conversation with me when there were plenty of younger women around. Every woman deserves a little boost like that once in a while. He asked me to dance and I agreed, unfortunately I had to cut things short and go home. Work the next day. I did something totally uncharacteristic to me; I gave him my number after only knowing him for about 30 minutes. Kevin told me days later it was fate, maybe it was.

I don’t know what it was about Arien, but I felt comfortable in his presence. Each meeting I grew that much closer to caring for him. I liked him very much. It wasn’t the same was with Gabe all those years ago. There wasn’t that combustible lust and heated groping of tempestuous youth. With Arien things went slow and gradual, well, in comparison to Gabe, anything else would be slow and gradual.

Most of the events surrounding Gabe are muddle and hazy. I was working 14 hour days in rehearsals and performances as well as trying to squeeze in time with him. He wasn’t anything like Arien. Arien was patient and understanding where Gabe didn’t understand the meaning of the words. Gabe was self centered, Arien was not. He would actually spend time talking with me about all sorts of different topics. I never felt I had to compete for his attention, he just gave it.

I don’t remember many first with Gabe, just a few, but with Arien, I remember them all with clarity and unlike with Gabe, I don’t think time will dull these memories. I remember the first night I walked outside the diner and found him waiting for me to walk me home. I remember the first night he kissed me; how it felt to be in his arms and how my knees got weak. I remember the night he invited me over to his place so I could hide from work and those hours spent on his couch just kissing, cuddling, and talking. I remember the shower and how giddy with excitement I felt when he stepped in with me and how when he touched me I didn’t think again for several hours. There are so many other memories and I have them all. They replay for me daily in my mind at random times during the day.

I can even pinpoint the moment my feet began slipping and I started falling. I walked out of my apartment building to find him standing by a cab, waiting for me in the cold, with a single rose in his hand. I remember thinking to myself that a girl could fall in love easily with a guy like that. I knew I was a goner the day I walked into my apartment and found him cleaning up the place after a burglar messed it up. He never got me expensive things, he never lavished expensive dinners on me; he was just there and in tiny ways showed me how he cared with simple gestures.

Maybe that’s why it hurt so much the night he appeared in my apartment (yes, I did say APPEARED…as in out of thin air) and said things I’d never would have imagined or associated with him. In less than five minutes he shattered my trust and crushed my heart. I couldn’t condone what he’s been doing, nor did I feel the same after he told me what he did. That safe, warm, loved feeling just wasn’t there. I felt vulnerable, cold, and betrayed. I asked him to leave and he left. I haven’t seen him since.

Unlike all those years ago, I’m not about to break from this. Back then I was young and stupid, I had built my world around two things that weren’t exactly stable in and of themselves…dancing and Gabe. When one was gone, the other quickly followed. Now I’m older, wiser, and more confident in myself and the things I’ve done since then. I’m independent and successful. Arien’s confession didn’t break me. It dented me, it bent me, but it didn’t break me. With the cushion of almost a week between now and when it happened, I’ve had the time and clarity to think on it and I will be ok given some more time. I will walk away from this stronger than before or at least I hope so. While I don’t trust him, I still love him and probably always will. I know there will come a day I’ll be able to forgive him, but the time isn’t now.

I went to church today. It has been a while since I had the time, but I made the time today. I lit a candle for him and a candle for me. I prayed for the strength and guidance to make it through and I prayed that he sees the wisdom to do the right thing and for the right reasons. That he’ll make a change for him and not continue as he’s doing. I can do no more than that. The rest is up to Arien.