George's Lab

[RazzleDazzle]

*she just sits on the table, looking down at her hand for a long moment before sliding off the table and following you back over to the other area of the lab. For a moment, she feels as if she wants to pursue the direction the conversation had been taking before your masterful avoidance tactic... but then, she doesn't. She really not very good at confrontation it seems.*

Thanks George. I really appreciate it. Now, if we can find them that way...I'll be set. Well, if I can find someone to go with me, that is.

*yeah, she had planned on asking Tim - it would have been handy to have a human shield around. But, given recent circumstances, she doesn't think he'd agree to go anymore. So.*

[m i c h a e l]

*if you give George a problem involving theoretical physics, computers, technology, or anything involving the word "cosine", he'd probably examine it at great length, look at it from several angles, and probably conduct a battery of tests before attacking the issue directly....sadly, this same methodology seems to escape him when it comes to conversation*

I'd....I'd like to go with you.

*he then freezes, stock still, realizing that a) what he said might not be interpreted in the exactly correct way, and b) he was volunteering to go into what was probably a very dangerous situation...well, he can't really do much about part B, but at the very least he can correct the Freudian slip*

--I mean, uh, um...to the...you know...to the base. Go with you to the base...

*there was a risk that his blush might have a chance of going away, but inexplicably, it's back now...he hastens to add*

If, uh....if you can't find anyone else, that is...

*suddenly, the progress of the computer as it extrapolates the transmission's point of origin seems to be inordinately interesting, insofar as it's nowhere near where you are*

[RazzleDazzle]

Really?

*she looked surprised that you were volunteering to get into a potentially dangerous situation, but then she smiled and moved up beside you so she can peer at the computer as well, in the offchance that she might be able to understand what's on the screen. She reaches up and touches your shoulder gratefully*

Well, thanks, George. I'd like it if you came along. Especially if you came along and brought some of your cool gadgets with you that can scramble their security cameras or whatnot - so we don't get killed before we even get inside. I had been planning on having Tim along, but....

*she shrugged, her hand falling away - staring at the computer as well. Sure, why not?, she thought to herself. She didn't think it'd be that dangerous of a mission - she wasn't going there for a fight, after all, she just wanted to talk. They obviously didn't harm her last time, and she assumes Mr. Labcoat will be very interested in what she has to say, and the questions she wants to ask. In fact, she's counting on it. After she and Tim broke up, she had thought about just going alone - but, well, that's not the way they were supposed to do things around here.*

[m i c h a e l]

*he knows you're there, and yet somehow he still jumps when you touch his shoulder...only it's not quite the same as his being surprised...you might almost think you have him a static electricity shock, were it not for the fact that you didn't feel one yourself*

*the computer screen shows a series of numbers flipping by at nearly a blur...beyond that, there are a series of commands like "#ref stdio.h" that are obviously written in Geek*

I can try to find something to help with their security....

*he trails off when you mention something about Tim, at which point his head whips around, and there's a flash of...something...in his eyes...eagerness?*

What? What about Tim?

[RazzleDazzle]

*ohhh GEEK, hehe, when I first read that, I thought it said GREEK, and thought to myself that now you're just showing off*

*she pulled her hand back quickly as you jumped.... she has to remember not to sneak up and touch you like that! You always jumped a mile and a half. For a moment, she peered over your shoulder, watching the numbers flash past, but they made her dizzy. So, she slid past you and leaned against the table, shrugging carelessly*

Well, we broke up, and he's really upset at me right now. So, I don't think asking him to go on a mission with me would be such a great idea. He might decide to feed me to the aliens.

*she attempted to laugh and make it into a joke, but it wasn't. It had been hard to break up with Tim, but she knew deep down that it had been right. It just didn't feel right to her - as wonderful as he was, it just hadn't been working. She'd battled herself for ages over it, telling herself that it was stupid, he was a good guy - he was good FOR her. But in the end, well.... anyway*

[m i c h a e l]

*he says nothing for a long while, mentally struggling with the dizzying mix of emotions he's suddenly feeling...sadness for you, hot, almost petulant anger at Tim....and, for some reason, happiness?...he KNOWS that can't be right, but there it is all the same....he frowns to himself, and you probably think he's just doing some kind of mental calculation...but really he's trying to formulate his reaction*

I'm.....I'm really sorry to hear that....

*it comes out kind of leaden, because he made an effort to temper his voice...otherwise, it might have come out gleeful...he frowns again and closes his eyes, feeling a stab of guilt now, for some reason*

That's....that's really stupid of him.

*less masking of his emotions with that statement; you can hear real anger (or as close to anger as you're like to hear from George) in his tone...he honestly can't believe what kind of dolt would break up with you - and of course, he assumes that Tim was the one who did the breaking... it has to be; you wouldn't do something like that, right?...he keeps his eyes closed, trying to sort out why the hell he's feeling this way...he's with Cerise, dammit, and the fact that she's apparently left should not come into play...he shouldn't be glad you're single again, but dammit, he is...this is all wrong but he can't help himself...he's momentarily grateful you can't read minds*

[RazzleDazzle]

*she gave a little shrug, looking down at the table - absently fiddling with some sort of device there. She only assumes that your voice sounds rather leaden because you're (surprise!) uncomfortable talking about this sort of thing. Although, it was nice to talk to someone about it. She hadn't exactly told anyone else that they broke up - it wasn't really their business. She assumes Tim has, and hopes that he hasn't bad-mouthed her too much to people.*

It's okay....

*but at your next statement, and the anger in it, she looks up -a surprised look on her face. For a moment, she feels .... gratified perhaps? .... or at least, she thinks it's nice that you're angry at Tim on her behalf. But then she quickly continues, lest there's any misunderstanding*

Or maybe, stupid of me, as I'm the one that broke up with him.

*she paused, then shrugged again, turning back around to look at you. Now, were you going to call HER stupid? That's sort of how she's felt on and off since they broke up. She bit her bottom lip and suddenly seemed very interested in the computer again, even though she can't understand what's happening*

So? Um, is this thing working still or what?

[m i c h a e l]

*George, meanwhile, seems to have lost ALL interest in what's going on with the computer...it could be erasing all the data on the network, but he'd never know...slowly, very slowly, he turns to look at you...it's so rare that he actually directly LOOKS at anyone...he just stares at you in silence for a long moment, his face an unreadable mix of conflicting emotions*

Oh...well... I'm still sorry.

*this has a very automatic, space-filling quality to it, and doesn't sound terribly sincere...mentally, he's tallying everything he knows about Tim, which is a) he has a Southern accent and b) he used to date you...based on this knowledge, he concludes - naturally - that he was a worthless low-life scum who didn't deserve to be with you....he nods faintly as this thought snaps home*

If there's anything I can, uhm...do....just....uh...let me know....

*even as he says the words, a dawning look of surprise fills his face...he can't believe he's saying it either...is he hitting on you?...no, that's not it...it couldn't be...that's not right for him to do...he still is in love with Cerise, even if she abandoned him...all at once, he feels a vicious twist of guilt and blinks rapidly against the treacherous moisture that suddenly seems to be blurring his vision...he shakes his head groggily and abruptly turns his head away*

[RazzleDazzle]

*she peeeeered at the screen, waiting for you to spout of some rigamarole nonsense that she wouldn't understand. But, after a few moments passed and you said nothing, she looked back over her shoulder to see what you were doing....and caught your stare. Inexplicably, she flushed under your scrutiny, looking back at the computer quickly - her mind racing - that was no ordinary look, she's sure. With her back turned toward you, she nods, acknowledging your sentiment.*

Nah... I mean, thanks. I appreciate it alot, George.

*she turned back around, giving you a grateful smile, then expelled a loud sigh and hoisted herself up to sit on the table, pushing a few gizmos and gadgets carefully out of the way.*

But it's okay. I'm fine - I mean, I feel really bad for hurting Tim like that. But... it's better this way. He just wasn't what I was looking for... we're not all as lucky as you and Cerise were.

*she gave you a wide grin, because you and Cerise did seem to match each other rather well; she envies that sometimes. She kicked her feet idly, then raised a brow as you turned abruptly away*

Hey, George, are you....ok?

[m i c h a e l]

*when you say 'Cerise', his face twists as though he'd been punched in the kidneys, and he sucks in a sudden gasp....it's hard enough for him to live with the knowledge of what's been going on, but for you to talk about it is like dumping salt in a still-fresh wound*

I-I-I-I....

*he can't seem to formulate a coherent word, and the moisture that shone on his eyes has broken into full-fledged tears....his body shakes with silent sobs, and he says no more*

[RazzleDazzle]

*she sort of cringes as your face twists, then she looks at you in horror as you start crying*

George? Ohmygod, George, are you okay?

*she launches herself off the table and grabs your arms, looking at you in concern - and fear too. It was just a simple observation, at least she thought. She didn't mean anything by it, honestly....and she certainly didn't know that it would have this effect. Bah! She shouldn't have said anything. As you continue to sob, she wraps an arm around your shoulders, patting your back soothingly*

I'm....I'm sorry, was it something I said? I'm really sorry....

*she's a bit uncomfortable, not necessarily because you are crying - but because she obviously said something awful to you to make you cry like this. And you were so fragile that she never intentionally wants to hurt you feelings. But she seems to always put her foot in her mouth and say the wrong thing around you. Like mentioning Cerise....or that whole "I've got standards." slip of the tongue*

[m i c h a e l]

*if it's any consolation - and since you probably can't read his mind to know this, it probably isn't - but it's not entirely your fault...he'd been suppressing this for a long time, mostly because he was too busy trying to locate Cerise, holding onto hope that she'd been kidnapped or something...it wasn't until Jane basically told him to give up looking - that it was a lost cause - that he had enough time for sorrow...but even then, he tried to "keep a brave face" as he worked to integrate himself back into the team...so he never really had time for a catharsis like this...so it's that, plus the complications about what he's feeling about you, that finally caused the dam to break*

*he doesn't say anything at first - can't - and you might start to worry that something had snapped in his mind....but finally he seems to get control of himself, now feeling hot shame on top of everything else...when he finally does find his voice, his tone is wetly miserable*

It....it's Cerise....she....she's gone...

[RazzleDazzle]

*she gives you as long as you need. She just stands there beside you, rubbing your back soothingly until you've calmed down enough to speak. And meanwhile, she's mentally berating herself for saying anything in the first place.

Well, I know that; she hasn't been around for ages...

*but then she trails off, a look of realization dawning on her face. She pulls back a little bit so she can look directly into your face, still squeezing your arm lightly*

But she's...gone gone, isn't she? And not in contact with you or anything?

*she never knew where Cerise went, but when she turned up gone, Alison just assumed that she went back home to the Imperial Guard for a while. With your blessing - and that you two kept in touch and you were waiting for her to come back. She never inquired because it was none of her business -- well, no, actually, she never inquired before because until the alternate dimension thing, it wasn't that important to her. But since then, you've become alot more important to her as a friend, and now, she wants to know. She turns away for a moment, looking for some tissues - and if she doesn't find any, she disappears to get you a paper towel, at least.*

Here, use this....

*then, she takes your arm again, and steers you over to a stool, all but pushing you on it and standing in front of you, ready to hear your story*

*

[m i c h a e l]

*he refuses your offer of a tissue but allows himself to be led to the stool....you could have steered him into a meat grinder and he wouldn't have resisted...the only resistance he does show is when you try to get a look at his face...at that, he pulls his chin down, positively refusing to look at you, looking miserable and ashamed...he feels like this whole thing is his fault somehow, or that if he'd been just a bit smarter he could have done something to stop it - whatever "it" is - his head dips slightly lower at your question in what must be a nod...he says nothing for a long time, and then: *

She must have...left....just before, or sometime during...when you and I were...in that other place...

*maybe that admission will help you understand why he's been so hesitant to talk about it*

When I came back, she was just....not there. And...not there. And not there. I searched...tried to see if she'd been kidnapped, or gone off on a mission...or....or ANYTHING. I spent days...weeks, even....scanning every manner of radio and surveillance information, for any signs of a missing person or an unknown, uhm, pink person...signs of a struggle. Ransom notes.

*he recounts this in a low, flat voice*

But I couldn't find anything...for good or for bad. So I guess she must have just...left.

*he says "left"; clearly what he means is "left me"*

But what makes it worse is....I shouldn't even be thinking...about...about someone else. Shouldn't have, ever. But especially not now.

*and for five thousand bonus points, who can guess to whom he's referring by "someone else"...perhaps it'll become clear when, in spite of everything, a faint blush reappears...he falls silent now, talking talked himself out...and truth be told, he looks a little better already, having gotten all of it off his chest (maybe that's why you didn't have to pull the story out of him)...though he still refuses to look at you*

[RazzleDazzle]

*after you were seated on the stool, she tried to press the tissue upon you again. But when you didn't take it, she just stood there and held it in one hand, the other hand rubbing a circle on your back, waiting for you to speak. Then, you started to speak - and at first, she was amazed, because she's never heard you string more than two sentences along at the same time the entire time she's known you. She reached up and brushed the back of your head absently - not even realizing that she did it, it was just another soothing gesture*

George, I'm....I'm sorry. It was my fault that we got sucked into that stupid dimension. I... alot of things got messed up because of that. And I'm sorry.

*she sighed and patted your back again, thinking of her own troubles that resulted from her little sidetrip. But this wasn't the time to think about those, this was supposed to be about you. She waits a moment or two, then moves around and sort of crouches down in front of you. This way, even with your head bent down at that unnatural angle to avoid looking at her, you now have to. She looks up with an encouraging sort of smile*

But, just because Cerise has disappeared, and you've not been able to find out what's happened to her...it doesn't mean that she's left you. There could be a hundred reasons why you've not heard from her. Maybe something really bad happened at her home, and she had to leave - didn't have time to tell anyone. Or maybe...what happened to us, happened to her as well? Or something similar anyway - something happened that was out of her control, and there was no way for you to find her - or her you.

*she paused, then reached up and blotted your cheeks with the tissue, a small, wry smile on her face*

It's not exactly a comforting thought, I suppose... but it doesn't necessarily mean that she's left you. I... I don't know why she would - she'd be crazy to, for sure.

*there, a little bit of praise never hurt anyone. In fact, that's the world's best formula for clearing up the blues. A little bit of comfort, a little bit of empathy, and a little bit of praise. She smiled up at you, giving your cheek a little pat with the tissue...when she caught your next comment, and the flush. She looked away quickly, feeling a bit warm herself - she was a good-looking girl, and had lots of guys interested in her over the years - and she's developed a radar for this sort of thing - crushes. And this last comment, mixed in with some of the other signals she's gotten over the past few weeks - well, she doesn't like to be conceited, but... after a moment, she stands up and grabs another stool, pulling it over to sit beside you now*

I... I wouldn't beat yourself up too hard over something like that George. After all - you're only human. It's natural to be...um....attracted to someone else. Especially since you've not seen Cerise for a while. And you don't exactly know what's going on between you two. I...well. I wouldn't be too upset if you are feeling something for .... someone else. You don't have to, um...well...act on it? And it certainly doesn't diminish what you feel for Cerise. It's just...erm... a fleeting attraction?

*she was feeling a bit uncomfortable - she didn't want you to be attracted to her. Not that you weren't a really nice guy - you were. But, then again, so was Tim, and look what she did to him. Plus, this would really mess up their friendship, she just knew it. Even if you never acted on it... and she ignored it... she'd feel like it was always there, between them*

[m i c h a e l]

*he says nothing, does nothing the entire time you speak, absorbing everything in silence...the only movements he makes are to flinch or jump slightly at all the small touches you give...they're not full-fledged winces, and he doesn't actually pull away from you, but it's obvious that even brief contact like that has an effect on him...he continues to avoid looking at you (save for the time when you interposed yourself in his field of vision, but even then he moved his eyes away), but when he speaks, he seems to be in somewhat more control of himself...somewhat*

You...don't have to apologize about what happened. That was...never anything I blamed you for, or needed an apology....

*he hesitates slightly*

I'd....considered that she might have gotten sucked in with us, but the fact that we never saw her...well...there wasn't really anything else I could do to test that type of theory once we'd gotten back... I'd....I'd much rather think that she left me than to imagine...something really bad had happened to her.

*at the last, he seems on danger of losing it again...but there it is...in the face of the facts (or the lack of them in this case), he latched onto the theory that spared her well-being, even if it shattered his own*

And you're very nice but...she wouldn't be that crazy to....you know... To go. I know I'm not...like...well, anyone else. Not like Kurt, or Piotr, or...

*he shrugs*

If that's what it is...I can't say I'd blame her too much. I never figured I'd be the kind of person that would....you know...have people interested in me.

*and of course, by "people" he means "girls"*

That's why it feels so wrong to be...uhm....interested in...anyone else. You're right...it DOESN'T diminish my feelings about Cerise, but I still feel like I'm....disloyal somehow. I don't know why I feel the uhm...feeling, but believe me, I know that it's stupid....I'm not going to...you know...uhm....act on it. I uhm...

*he trails off again, and you might think he's done talking, but after a protracted pause, he resumes*

I know this ah...person...wouldn't ever consider anything with me anyway...even if Cerise wasn't in the picture. I don't want to say anything because....I don't want to make them say something untrue just to...make me feel better. And I...I mean, aside from the..."feeling"....I like this..someone...anyway. As a friend. And I don't want to mess that up. I don't have a lot of friends.

*and there, he stops...another marathon speaking effort on his part....he certainly still sounds unhappy, but he's no longer crying like a little sissy girl....but by the end, the blush had returned...he's still under the impression that you don't know who the "someone else" is...there's no beating the power of denial*

[RazzleDazzle]

*she reached over and patted your shoulder one more time, then sat with her hands clasped in her lap, listening to you speak. And now comes the hard part - for her. She wants to speak, to protest when you put yourself down - but at the same time, she wonders, Is this going to encourage him? And she doesn't want to do that. She already hurt one really nice guy, she doesn't want to "play with your emotions" and end up hurting you too. For a moment, she merely sits there, listening and thinking. And then, she speaks*

George, don't...don't sell yourself short. You have alot of nice qualities that anyone would appreciate. Sure, you aren't like Kurt, or Piotr - but then again, neither is Kurt like Piotr, and vice versa. I'm not like Cerise, Cerise isn't like Nia. You're just you. And we all like you, just the way you are.

*she paused again, wondering if she should add some something else - hoping that you don't read too much into it. She honestly does think you're great just the way you are. But, not romantically - it wouldn't work. She wouldn't absolutely loathe being with you, but you and Alison were too different. They enjoyed different things, they had completely different lifestyles - she wanted someone that would take care of her, someone to be strong for her. She gave you a small smile, though you didn't see it, then patted your back again*

I think... I wish I could make this all better for you. But, I think that you are probably right. You shouldn't...um...say anything to this person, unless you know that things are... erm, well... reciprocated? Lots of friendships around here have be ruined by a passing fancy, or a careless word. Look at Kitty and Piotr and Lorna, for example.

*that might be an extreme example - after all, they did alot more than exchange careless words and fleeting fancies*

But, don't make yourself so upset over it either....please? You aren't being disloyal to Cerise, you aren't a bad person for feeling these things. You're just human. And a guy - and we all know how guys are....[/b]

*she laughs and gives you a little nudge; it's supposed to be a joke, something to make you smile*

[m i c h a e l]

*he doesn't laugh at the joke, or even crack a smile, but he does nod faintly as you speak, and when he replies, his hysteria is dialed down a notch...maybe this "talking" business really IS good for sorting things out*

Well, I...I don't WANT to be disloyal to her. I really don't. And I don't want people to think that I would be. Ever.

*he says this with sudden, surprising conviction...he may have a lot of faults and weaknesses, but he sure is loyal*

But yeah...I know that the feeling isn't reciprocated by the, uhm...person in question. And I understand why perfectly. Maybe it's just the way...certain events happened, but I just started thinking about this person...a lot....

*he shifts a bit, not quite uncomfortable to the level he'd been previously, but there's a definite hesitation to his voice*

I know that it would be...laughable...for anyone to think that I would be a good match for this person. Especially considering....uhm... Well... That part doesn't matter.

*sudden, fierce blush, look away...then he looks back at you and manages a weak smile*

But, uhm, yeah. I think you're right. I just....do people think less of someone if they have these...these kinds of thoughts?

*he seems genuinely worried about that, so much so that he's broken his "not looking at you" conviction, his eyes meeting yours with naive openness...God, he's such a loser*

[tamster]

((heyyyyyyyy.. leave kitty outt this! lmao))

[RazzleDazzle]

I don't think anyone is going to think you're being disloyal to Cerise. Hell, I don't even think half of us know the meaning of loyal, anyway.

*yes, she's including herself in that category - what's that old saying about pointing fingers? In the fast-paced, soap-operatic love lives in the mansion, "George and Cerise" will always be a constant for people. Like "Kurt and Marina." And alot like Alison and Havok WERE, until he left her in a lurch. She looked at you with a warm smile, nodding a bit*

I think... sometimes people don't give you enough credit, George. I think it's a really tough thing that you are doing - and....extremely noble.

*it was! A lesser man would have written Cerise off months ago and pursued the current object of his affection without a quarter of the guilt you are feeling. But here you were, still doggedly loyal to Cerise - and being very careful not to thow away a good friendship over this sudden surfeit of feelings you had. She regarded you for a long moment, then just smiled and leaned over, giving you a gentle hug*

As for people thinking less of you... I can't answer for everyone. But I certainly don't think less of you - not in the least. And, if someone does, just over something that you can't really control in the first place - then who needs that person's opinion?